Dorothy, we are most definitely NOT in Kansas anymore!
A bit less than a year later I was drawn to Reiki, specifically to these two Reiki teachers, who were quite a distance away. There were many others nearer me, but my gut was adamant. So, I booked the class, rented a room, again feeling drawn to the best Air BnB host for my overnight stay.
My first Reiki attunement was extraordinary. I remember tears leaking from my eyes during the meditation because it was so beautiful. I also remember being so uncomfortable during the attunement itself; all the other people sitting in the chairs around me were well within my personal space. I liked a good four feet. The chairs were all within two feet of one another.
Afterwards, we practiced the Reiki in groups, with several people gathering round a Reiki table to give group Reiki to an individual and later one-on-one Reiki sessions. During the group Reiki session when it was my turn to receive, I found the energy unbearable around my head (crown chakra), and having people place their hands on me was uncomfortable in the extreme. I actually asked,”Please don’t give Reiki to my head and please don’t touch me.” For me to vocalize that request was extremely huge as I hated to make anyone uncomfortable in any way. I rather be the one in discomfort – sad, right?
That night back in my Air BnB room, I experienced another profound shift in my energy and actually saw all of these red and blue limned animals “swimming” in the air above me.
Spirit Guides: it felt like I was being looked over. I remember very specifically a large blue whale swimming above me.
The next day, during our one-on-one session, I fared much better. One person holding her hands above me to give me Reiki was much easier to handle. I still couldn’t bear the energy of the lone male student in that Reiki class. His energy felt so forceful, and his aura was very thick and extended about five feet from his body. I inadvertently made him feel bad as I sought to avoid receiving Reiki from him. The thing of it was, he was a lovely person, incredibly nice. The problem was within me – I had no boundaries and unfamiliar men, even nice ones, made me uncomfortable. Still, that class was so fantastic, and I adored my two Reiki teachers.
Jazzed and feeling confident in this new tool, I went home and gave Reiki to myself daily for a full year often using crystals, too.
Much of the work I did was layered healing. I would have a therapy appointment about a violent trauma of my childhood. Unable to process it, my body feeling as if was going to explode, I often felt lost, as if I had no control over what was happening to me with the physical sensations that I continually experienced. The emotions that I had stored, so densely packed for so long, were vibrating my body apart in waves of feelings. The memories, my emotional and mental reactions to those memories, were challenging me to the limit at times.
At this point I had no confidence in myself and no belief in my own power over myself. I was a victim of my own beliefs; however, I had absolute faith in a higher power – not God, but in the Divine Love of the universe – Divine Source. The warm golden light of my childhood memory. I believed that all things came from Divine Source and that source was and is pure. Pure truth, pure love, compassion, and pure beauty. So, even though I could not find these things within myself for myself, I could find them within Divine Source.
Reiki gave my confidence a huge boost because the purity of the energy was the same as that warm, golden light from my childhood. It felt warm, peaceful, loving, and kind, and my body often felt like warm honey was running through it. It was part of the desperately needed support my mental, emotional, physical, and energetic bodies needed to heal. It helped break down blocks that I could not get through with therapy alone – even the energy psychology that my therapist used didn’t fully move some of them – they were megaton weights. These super weighty emotions had to be broken down into chunks, and those chunks took some heavy machinery to lift.
I wanted all those megaton weights to just disappear – as if I could blink my eyes like a genie and have that wish fulfilled, but that isn’t how it works, which I had a very hard time accepting. Healing takes time, but after spending so much time with all of that accumulated pain I often found it too much to slowly unpack. I think I would have rather simply chucked out the whole suitcase and start fresh, but since my body was the suitcase that wasn’t really a viable option.
Nevertheless, with the daily Reiki and the many crystal sessions I gave to myself, my journey sped along. It most certainly wasn’t easy, but it was so much faster and easier than it would have been without these tools. Getting help to release the toxic energy of all those base emotions that I had confined within my body was beyond any words that I could call upon to describe the experience. All I can say is that I have intense gratitude for the many blessings of healing and beautiful experiences that I received.