LIGHT BOUND, Ch. 16

Cleaning Up Even More

Burn/Trash, Keep, Recycle, & Upcycle

The women in my circle often remark that I am a different person than the one they first met. 

I am, and I’m not. 

Rather I was like a closet that was a total disaster, stuffed with all this crap that wasn’t even mine or that I didn’t need or want. 

The closet is the same. It’s the same size and shape, but what was stored in it has changed drastically. 

My closet was piled high with disorganized shoes, clothes, luggage, manuals, belts, gloves, makeup, old sound tracks, a tape deck player, and the like. I couldn’t even tell what was in there or find what I was looking for. 

It needed to be cleaned, cleared, organized, and repaired. I got rid of hand-me-downs, out-of-style/ill-fitting clothes, worn out shoes, old makeup, manuals, and tapes. 

Everything that best served me, I just grouped and neatly stored. Plus, I added some new things that fit me and my life. Now, you can see the floor, clearly see where everything is, and feel good when you walk in it.

It still has to be periodically dusted, vacuumed, and mopped. I am human, I live with others, and life can sometimes get messy.

Through the process of cleaning, I had to decide what to do with all the crap. Trash, burn, upcycle, and recycle. 

Trash the beliefs, both conscious and subconscious that I had learned and taken on, like I was responsible for everything that happened to me.

Burn out beliefs and feelings that I wasn’t safe, worthy, and deserving.

Upcycle my language from words like I can’t to I can, from impossible to possible /challenge, and from unwilling to willing.

Recycle the old batteries. My batteries are now the rechargeable ones. I power my battery pack with nurturing and creativity, taking time just for me to energize myself. 

Self-nurturing rituals and time to make art and beauty: I give myself Epsom salt baths, meditate daily, do yoga, MELT, Chakradance, paint, draw, write, and garden. I walk my furry babies and smile at the feel of the sun or rain on my face and the sights, smells, and sounds of nature. 

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